How simply did it happen,

When she let the heartache go,

It all just left her body,

Brushed off just like snow,

She lay down there with scars,

With marks on her feet,

These stains on her heart,

Her stomach filled with bleach,

And then she closed her eyes,

She put her pencil down,

One last tear she cried,

With silence all around,

How dearly she'd be missed,

How hurt they all would be,

When they saw her there,

Hoping she might breathe...

Do you know how it feels, to see someone that you've loved for a really long time, just laying there...motionless...breathless...lifeless. You hold their hand but they don't hold yours. You tell them you love them...but they don't respond. Your lay your head on their chest but their heart doesn't beat. It's like everything you never thought would happen is coming true, and all of it is right there in front of your eyes. And it's just so surreal when you touch their skin and feel nothing. They're just cold and stiff. And you just keep screaming for them to wake up. At the top of your lungs with your heart pounding faster, but you just keep yelling. You don't stop. Everything becomes real and you just think, 'can't they do something?' But then that small part of your heart that's always telling you the truth about things, reminds you...'its too late'............And you still just keep screaming even though you know all to well that it'll do nothing. 'Come back! Please you can't go yet you aren't supposed to! You still have a family here, you still have people who love you...You can't break us like this!' You stay quiet for a while, tears running down your face...and then look up again. 'I...I'm still here. I still...need you. I still want you here.....I can't lose you now, I just.........can't.' And then slowly you stop trying. You let go of their hand. You move your head away from their heart...and you say goodbye. You give up in the same way they did, and just like that...It really is over.

Testing

He's still there, He just won't get in your way while your trying to get through each problem. But the difference between God and a teacher, is that a teacher will just let you fail if you don't know the answers, whereas He'll come and help show you the answers when you feel stuck...

Beauty in Tears

That day was awful, it was a flash of pain that came and went, but just one drop of it stayed. It buried itself deep inside me and it grew. It grew and grew and grew until I didn't notice the beauty in life anymore. I didn't see the hope, or the second chances, or the reasons, or the plans. I just was being pulled through life instead of marching through it. I was being controlled and I never stopped to smell the roses. I regretted so many years of my life that had been taken over by one single drop of pain that came from one small day in my past. It was dangerous and deadly, and it had it's teeth sinking into me, each one as sharp as a double bladed sword. I was tightly gripped and I never realized that everyday may not have been good, but there was always something good in everyday. I realized that the worst days of my life were the most beautiful. The pain, the suffering, the pit inside me that was killing me. It was all a lovely thing that made me stronger each and everyday that I made it through alive. It made the joy of being a survivor all the more precious. After all, the stars wouldn't be able to shine without darkness...

13 Signs

Love This! I'll read it over, and over, and over again and each time number 1 is always true the whole time...Absolutely adore, and it's so straight on right it insane!

"I survived"

My life was like an hour glass. Just sitting there on a table, each grain of sand like another day, another week, another year passing by. Falling down. Falling apart. Everything moved so quickly, and it was like I was a car on a cable that was going hundreds of miles an hour. Suddenly, that hour glass started to tip. It tipped very slowly and it was harder for each grain of sand to pass by. It became harder for me to get through the days. Things stopped going so fast, until it just completely fell over. The hour glass shattered. All the pieces that I had worked so hard to build up my whole life, fell apart. My life was a mess with days scattered all over. I was lost and I didn't know where or how to restart again. So I just stayed on one single grain of sand. One day in my past that had messed me up, now it hadn't only done that, but it gripped me tight at my worst point. It replayed over and over, and I just wanted to leave. I wanted to quit. So I prayed. Then I waited. I waited and waited and waited. Then suddenly in the silence and waiting, a soft voice told me not to worry. He reached his hand down, and put the pieces of my life back together. You can still see where the edges of glass meet, but I say they're battle scars that say, "I survived."